I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I need water and some morals
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
