We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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