that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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