Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
