I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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