Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
