would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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