my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
