you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
