I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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