May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
