fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
