I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
