Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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