Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
