Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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