you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
