just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
