I CAN MOONWALK!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
