I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
