She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
