That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
