It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize