I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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