I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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