The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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