This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
