so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My vagina just clenched in fear
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
