found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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