just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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