Dual....:-)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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