Your tits are I can't wait for
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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