well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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