Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
