i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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