You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
vagina is talking i cant
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
