Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
