So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
