There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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