dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
