there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
