Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
