I'm so fucking centered right now
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
