If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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