I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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