How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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