come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
