I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize