Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
