you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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