bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
