i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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