I hate your face
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize