so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
