Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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