rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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