You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
