What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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