She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
