drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Randomize
