We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize