that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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