We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize