Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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