Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need to calm my uterus...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
