There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
