Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
