Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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