if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
...so i touched it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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