That's intense
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We just shotgunned beers for America
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
