A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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