I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
