My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
