From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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