I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
